


Bait

by beetle



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Episode: s02e03 School Hard, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 14:25:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/812587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beetle/pseuds/beetle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dancinbutterfly asked for a “Xander/Spike School Hard fic, with the Sire offer effecting not Spike’s desires, but Xander’s”, Five hundred words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bait

**Author's Note:**

> Notes/Spoilers/Warnings: Set in S2 ep School Hard, the scene when Angel “gives” Xander to Spike.

  
“. . . I gave her the puppy dog 'I'm all tortured' act. Keeps her off my back when I feed." Angel laughs like the rotten, undead liar-guy he is.  
  
"People  _still_  fall for that Anne Rice routine? What a world!" Spike laughs, too, giving me a lazy once-over.  
  
“I knew you were lying,” I mutter when Angel squeezes my neck. "Undead liar-guy."  
  
He clamps down even harder and I wish, just for a moment, that my mouth was on my neck, so I could bite his creepy, dead-man hand.   
  
Only . . . he’s a vampire . . . he might  _like_  that.   
  
Definitely no neck-mouths for the Xan-man, no sir, and what the hell are these psychos yakkin’ about, anyway? It’s pretty simple math, as far as I can see. The extent of their conversation should be:  
  
 _Angel: Here you go, Spike, a moist and delicious treat to welcome you and your batshit girlfriend to the Hellmouth. And by the way? I’m a total dick, who dresses like the Grim Reaper’s pretentious little brother.  
  
Spike: Blimey, cor, and bloody, soddin’ ‘eck, don’t I know it! Thanks for the snack, guv’nor! Cheers!_  
  
Okay . . . maybe Spike’s part wouldn’t go  _exactly_  like that, but the Angel-part is dead-on and Spike’s giving me the elevator eyes-- _leering_  at me, like--   
  
So, this is the point where the Xan-man’s mind-numbing terror mutates into a dirty, low-down tingle, huh?  
  
I mean  _no_ , I’ve got no tingles of any kind! Except maybe for the fear-kind . . . yeah, I’ve got tingles of fear coming outta my yin-yang, wherever that is, but I will  _not_  let my eyes look further south than his skanky, yet sexy silk shirt . . . I will  _not_  let my eyes--he is so  _hot_. . . .  
  
No! Bad brain! Spike isn’t hot, he’s cold, as in  _dead-and!_  There will be  _no_  lusting after the bleached menace who’s eyeing me like I’m canapes!  
  
"Wanna bite before we kill her?" Angel’s yanking my head to the side and offering me up to Spike like a gift basket!  
  
Hear that, naughty fun zone? I'm about to be  _eaten_ \--and not in the fun way! If you don’t start re-routing some O-pos to HQ, you’re never gonna have a date with Rosy Palm and her five sisters again,  _capische_?! He. Is going. To  _kill_  me!  
  
There's a creepy, horrible, not-at-all-sexy flash of gold in Spike's blue, blue eyes and his face ripples like he's hungry--or horny maybe, because those jeans are  _sprayed on_  and I'm seeing a suspicious bulge--oh, god, Spike's not the only one bulging and I can't believe I'm turned on at the thought of dying in his arms while he drains me and--  
  
\--he can smell everything I just thought, can’t he?  
  
Oh, god . . . so can  _Angel_. . . !  
  
And my naughty fun zone just keeps getting naughtier.  
  
Please let this be the point where the Xan-man’s crippling shame mutates into a quick and painless death. . . .


End file.
